by Margaret Hardisty
Jarod was muscular, handsome and ready to walk - away from his marriage. "My wife Christina really does hate sex," he told us. "At least since our kids were born. Is there any way you can help me so I want to save this marriage instead of hitting the road?"
Jarod told her about us and she decided to come to our sessions as well. "I love Jarod but I can't stand his touching me," she said. "I know he's ready to leave, but if it means that I have to put up with his sexual stuff, I don't care if we save this marriage or not."
If sex disgusts you - if it's a bother - or a waste of time - or it hurts - or is repulsive - or makes you feel dirty - or used - or you never experience pleasure from it...you need to realize that your reactions are not normal. There have been many women who lost their marriages because of this issue.
There always is a cause behind an emotion, a feeling, or a behavior. If you think you've gone through all the causes, forward and backward, and have come to the conclusion that sex is still all the things we mentioned above, don't pass on this yet. You may have missed that one ingredient that will make a difference in your life.
Other brain chemicals are released, too, like serotonin and endogenous opioids, the body's equivalent of heroin. Sex really does relax you and improve your mood. It's also why some people can immediately go to sleep.
Science is a major factor in this process. When two people engage in sex, two of the neurochemicals that are released are vasopressin and oxytocin. These two chemicals interact with one small but very important part of the brain that is not activated by any other emotion. This area of the brain is the same one that generates the euphoria induced by drugs - like cocaine, for example. The brain's addiction chemicals are the same ones produced by love. What happens in your body and brain can, to a large extent, cause you to get addicted to love and the person whom you love.
What happens in your body and brain can, to a large extent, cause you to get addicted to love and the person whom you love. Other brain chemicals are released, too, like serotonin and endogenous opioids, the body's equivalent of heroin. Yup, that's the reason why those aches and pains tend to go away after sex and you often feel like going to sleep.
Lovemaking is a wonderful human experience that no one should be without. Making love should be a delight to you, as well as your guy, and though it may surprise you, most men don't really enjoy sex unless their wives are enjoying it, too. Having an orgasm starts to mean nothing to man who cannot please his partner. It becomes significantly less fun for him too. There are of course many reasons why a woman doesn't want to engage in sexual activity with her husband. When we talk with a woman who doesn't enjoy her sexual relationship with her husband, we uncover a number of reasons. These are three of the most common reasons:
* Her religious beliefs tell her to believe that the Bible denounces sex as dirty and shameful, and that having a child as the result is the only purpose. The Bible teaches no such thing. The bible actually teaches just the opposite.
* Someone in a position of authority told her that sexual pleasure was for the man. There are some bad apples who think this way, but most men do not.
Our counseling experience has exposed these reasons and even more. If you treasure your marriage and want to save it, find out why you don't enjoy sex with your guy and then determine to do everything you can to change the circumstances. We have written a lot about why women (or men) turn off in our books and material at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com because we know how important it is to a relationship and to the stability of a marriage.
As we said, those are just a few of the reasons we've uncovered in our counseling. If you treasure your marriage and want to save it, find out why you don't enjoy sex with your guy and then determine to do everything you can to change the circumstances. We have written a lot about why women (or men) turn off in our books and material at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com because we know how important it is to a relationship and to the stability of a marriage.
Your goal will be to like - adore - cherish lovemaking - not dislike or just tolerate it. Unless you make a conscious effort to change this attitude you may lose your marriage as a result. Save your marriage - start on it today.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save my marriage , and get separate help for women This article, Should A Marriage Be Saved When A Woman Hates Sex? is released under a creative commons attribution licence.
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