by Dr. Vance Hardisty
When he was introduced to Hailey, Ryan knew that she was the one. She wasn't as beautiful as a few he'd known, but that was all right. She was attractive, intelligent, and easy to get along with. She admired and respected him, too.
After they were married, she fulfilled his wishes by presenting him with adorable children. He was a happy man. His desires, for the most part, had been met.
By the time the children were in their teen years, though, Ryan's mind had begun to wander. Home had become unpleasant in too many ways. His kids were noncompliant; he was experiencing financial woes, and he had no friends to speak of. Hailey and he had grown apart, it seemed, and they quarreled far too often.
He wondered if some of his old girlfriends were still around - and available - and he started attempting to connect with them again. He also began flirting with various women at work. After a time, he scored and began an affair.
Someone told on him. It always happens, it seems. Hailey went through all the emotions that distinguish the betrayed: horror, devastation, anger, self-pity, blame, fear, even hatred. She told Ryan to get out and never come back. His children rejected him, too.
Ryan left, but in the months that followed, he suffered relentlessly. He wasn't interested in his lover any longer. He just wanted his family back. He went to a pastor and dedicated himself spiritually. That helped, but he would drive by his house frequently, tears flowing down his cheeks.
Finally, he began sending notes to Hailey, telling her what a fool he had been. He sent her flowers. He wrote to the children, asking forgiveness.
Finally, he met Hailey face to face, fell on his knees and begged her to let him come back home. Hailey said, "No," at first and then hesitated. He continued to talk and she said she'd think about it.
Weeks went by. Ryan prayed, waiting for her decision. The pastor prayed. One day Ryan got an invitation from Hailey to come for dinner. When he got there, a candlelit dinner and a romantic setting awaited him.
Hailey had arranged to have the children stay at friends' homes. "Dad and I have to talk about some things," she said.
As Ryan stood staring at the arrangements she had made, hope raging in his heart, she held out her arms and he enfolded her in his, tears choking him.
"I forgive you, Ryan," she said. "Just...please...I couldn't handle your being unfaithful again." That night, they made love in a way that they hadn't felt for years. The next day, Ryan moved back home. A sensible husband never quits treating his wife as a sweetheart.
A wise husband never quits treating his wife as a sweetheart. He does everything he can - on a daily basis - to make her feel loved, cherished and secure. He turns his sexual desires into lovemaking desires. He never ever considers having an affair or being disloyal in any way. If those thoughts come, he avoids them like poison.
A wise wife puts her husband foremost; children second. He is her king - she his queen - and she does everything she can to preserve that status on both sides. She meets his needs. She helps him do what is right toward her and in his life. She affair- proofs her marriage.
Both of them present a strong, joined, loving system of guidance and discipline for their kids who know, from their parents' love for each other, that they are secure. Relationships stay strong and laced with love.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Save my marriage , and get separate help for men This article, I Forgive You, Ryan is released under a creative commons attribution licence.
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