Thursday, November 26, 2009

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - Yes I Can


So you're now single or with someone new. . .but you can't get your ex out of your mind. You're always thinking "How can I get my ex to love me again. . ." And then you probably push the thought away because it seems impossible. The good news is that you can get your ex back in your arms. It has been done before, and not infrequently, and it can be done again, by you.

Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, many of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men's and women's brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren't.

So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let's take a look at why he or she isn't around in the first place.

Why do men leave relationships? It's pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren't getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and maybe they found it somewhere else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her happy!”

Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”

Now, you might think that your ex's reasons for leaving don't fit into one of those categories. You may be thinking, "my husband left me because I cheated on him." But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren't getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or maybe you're thinking. . .although that's not an excuse. Or maybe you're thinking "My girlfriend left me because I was never around." But ask yourself, why were you never around?

Now that you're not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in your relationship. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.

Then, after you've had time to concentrate on yourself and look at your relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don't re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question "Can I get my ex to love me again?" Yes, you can!

The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you'll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.

But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to "Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?" is "Yes, I can!"

Friday, November 20, 2009

Getting Boyfriend Back Go Get Him


If you are really interested in getting boyfriend back then you may have to be a bit more assertive than you are used to being. You may have to put yourself in the role of the hunter rather than the hunted.

If you are more experienced in being pursued than pursuing than you may be in for a tough time, unless you can figure out a way to hunt that suits your strengths.

You have to use the tools that you have at your disposal. You will have to be creative.  You will also have to know how guys think and make decisions and use that to your advantage. Getting boyfriend back may rely on the hunter becoming the hunted.

The natural role of the male is that of the hunter. It is usually the guy who wants to go out and capture what he wants. He needs to feel the thrill of the pursuit. He needs to feel like he is attaining something. Yes, he needs to feel like he scored.

How do you use that to your advantage? Is there something that you can do to go out and recapture someone who would rather be the one capturing instead of being captured? Yes, there is. Getting boyfriend back is going to cause you to trick the boyfriend back into thinking that he is pursuing you and capturing you.

In getting boyfriend back, you are going to have to use everything that you know about your ex boyfriend. You are going to have to know what he is interested in. You have to know what drives him and what makes him jump at opportunities. You may have to look very closely, though, because things may have changed. Pay close attention to what motivates him to act and then see if you can get and be those things that motivates him.

What this means is that you are going to be using yourself as bait in trying to land this big fish. The greatest draw that will help you in getting boyfriend back is going to be what you cause him to see in you. Become what it is that he wants you to be. Let him see that you are what he is looking for and can’t live without. That you are what he has to have and what he has to go after.

You have to be subtle taking this strategy in getting boyfriend back. You can’t throw yourself down and say, “Here I am!” As attractive as you might be you may have just made yourself boring. What he needs to have is a chase.

What you are going to do is cause him to imagine you. You have to give him just a bit of attention and a small piece of what it is that he wants to see and then take it away. Don’t take it too far away, remember ‘out of sight, out of mind’. Your goal is to make yourself just out of reach after making him want to reach out for you.

Getting boyfriend back requires a bit of teasing but it is a great way for the hunter to get what they want.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Get Your Ex To Come Back What Works And What Does Not


If you want to get your ex to come back, you need to understand the difference between what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t get sidetracked by semantics.  There are people that will argue that any strategy can be successful given the right circumstances.  Technically, that is correct.  However, are you interested in technicalities if some strategies practically work just once in several lifetimes?  Chances are you aren’t and that is why we need to clearly divide the different approaches into those that work and those that do not.

Right off the bat, the best approach to take is the one of giving your ex some time and space initially.  Remember that regardless of who broke up with whom, your ex is going to need some time in order to get over the breakup itself.  They are going to need time and space from you.  At this point, if you continue to see them often, you risk alienating them even further and dooming your chances of ever getting back together with them.

Eventually, they’ll get over the breakup.  At that point, you can start to build your relationship with them again.  It is at this point that the successful strategies can diverge.  There is the aggressive strategy and the conservative one from this point.

The aggressive strategy calls for you to really ramp things up and gamble on them not really being committed to the breakup.  You can push them a bit harder with the aggressive strategy, but you still need to walk the line in order to make sure that you don’t overdo things.  If you do, you risk the strategy backfiring and you losing your ex both as a potential lover and as a potential friend.

Many people are interested in staying friends with their ex even if they can’t get them to come back.  If you want to make sure that your ex is your friend if you can’t get your ex to come back, the conservative strategy is the one for you to take.  This involves slowly letting the relationship build and then going from good friends to lovers when the opportunity presents itself.  Do not push your ex and do not push yourself.  You’ve got time as friends that you can treasure until the opportune moment comes. 

This strategy is often less successful at getting back to a romantic relationship than the aggressive one because the opportunities for change are fewer when you’re being conservative.  However, it doesn’t have the same blowback potential that the aggressive one has and therefore is better overall for making sure that you maintain some kind of positive relationship with your ex, even if that relationship is non-romantic in nature.

In the end, the decision that you make will have a lot to do with the priorities that you have.  If you definitely want your ex back romantically and don’t care about their friendship, you’re more likely to go aggressive.  If you want to preserve some kind of relationship with them at all costs, conservative is the obvious choice.

What is very important when you think about how to get your ex to come back, is that you have a good plan. Know what you want to do, the risks involved and how to go about it. For the best possible advice for how to get your ex to come back, go to The Making Up System now.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

5 Strategies To Win Back Lost Love


We all have emotions and love is the strongest passion of them all. Therefore, when love ends, it may seem fatal. But there are ways to win back lost love. This article will look at five strategies to pursue when you are trying to get your lover back.

First of all, you need to be honest to yourself and to each other. If there were underlying problems in your relationship, it is essential that you address them. For instance, if housework was a big issue, you need to address it before you can get back together.

If you are messy and your ex was a neat freak, it can cause a considerable amount of stress in the relationship. If one person felt they were doing all the housework, it can cause a strain. Finances are another area where there can be strain. To win back lost love, you have to address these areas before you get back together.

Next, you need to be a dependable person. If you have broken up already, you need to be dependable as an ex. You need to be there when he or she needs you, even though you no longer have a “responsibility” to. For instance, if she’s moving, lend a helping hand and your truck. If he needs someone to type his resume, do it for him.

Third, encourage your ex. One of the things people miss when they break up is the encouragement their partner gives them. So, to win back lost love, try to find out where they are discouraged and cheer them up. If they are having a performance review at work, send an email timed to get there right before the meeting. If they are singing a solo at church, show up to give them some moral support.

Fourth, listen to them when they call. Most of the time after a break up, there is some level of communication. Often, this degenerates into fights. But, if you really listen to the things your ex is telling you, you may be able to figure out a way to get back into their life. Encourage them to share their problems with you. Don’t try to solve them. Just let them express their concerns with life. Be a sounding board.

Fifth, don’t sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be played on the playing field. If you sit on the sidelines, it’s likely that someone else will become the quarterback of their life. Don’t give up on the relationship unless you are ready to move on yourself. Things are not going to get better on their own. You have to go out and make things better.

If you want to win back lost love, you have to take this five part action guide to heart. You have to be proactive.

The most important thing is to really care about your ex and to show him or her that you do care. You shouldn’t be worried if they date other people because they will come back to you if you are the right person for them.

You should know that it is possible to win back lost love. Now go out there and do it!

These five points are an excellent start. It is important to take action and have a plan. Go to The Making Up System, have a look at all the free videos and get all the help you need. Get a good plan, go to The Making Up System,

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Getting Back Together After A Break Up


Is getting back together after a break up something that the both of you want to do or is it one sided? This is the place that you need to start. If it is something that the both of you are committed to doing then you very well could see this working out.

It will take a commitment from the both of you and a desire to give in and work together to overcome the things that caused the break up or divorce. If, though, it is one sided and you are the only one who is truly interested in getting back together after a break up, then you may be fighting an uphill battle.

What is going to make to getting back together after a break up work or not is total commitment from both of you. Each of you have to be able to concede that you were and are wrong about things. You have to be able to admit that without trying to justify everything.

When you try to justify mistakes you made you are essentially making up excuses. Just be able to admit it and move on to correct it. It will likely take both of you working together to overcome your mistakes. It is a partnership that both of you are going to have to be invested in 100% but the commitment level from both of you needs to be totally equal.

It is very easy to think that it is the other person that has to do the work. It is too easy to let one person do the work. If it is just one person who is doing the bulk of the work in this reconciliation effort, it most likely is going to fail. It took two to make the relationship or marriage take place originally.

Repairing the relationship is going to take both of you together. You have to struggle together for there to be a life together at all. This is something that you should have known when you first got together and it is something that you have to know for it to work from here on out.

If you are the only one of the two of you who thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it is only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It is sad to say but if it isn’t both of you wanting it and working towards it, it may be a fruitless endeavor.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try, it just means that you will have a monumentally tough time making this work. It is hard enough getting back together after a break up when two of you are working for it. Getting back together after a break up on your own may just take a lot more patience and perseverance.

Again, it will be difficult no matter what. What is going to help with the success of it is making sure that you have a good support system. If you have friends and family who are not only encouraging you but helping you, your chances of success grow as you continue getting back together after a break up.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dont Be A Dumped Boyfriend Who Does Everything Wrong


Sam was a dumped boyfriend.  His girlfriend Keri had been unable to attend a party with him, but he wanted to go anyway.  He ended up making out with some random girl and of course, one of Keri’s friends couldn’t wait to tell her the news.

Keri called Sam that night and told him that she never wanted to see him again.  She called him a number of unprintable names as well. 

Of course, Sam felt bad about the whole situation.  He knew he had a lapse of judgment, but didn’t think that one evening of bad behavior should end a good relationship.

So, Sam jumped right in and tried to win Keri back.  But, as we will see, he did everything wrong.

First of all, when Keri called, he groveled.  Rather than apologizing and moving forward, he begged Keri to take him back.  She, of course, was in no mood to do so.  She was justifiably angry.

Then, he compounded the problem by pursuing her aggressively in the next few days.  She got more than a hundred texts from him in 6 days.  He called at least 3 times a day including once at 1 in the morning.  He sent flowers to her at work.

Then, a week later, completely desperate, he went and sang love songs under her window.  Her neighbors called the police.

Sam’s first problem was that he didn’t give Keri a chance to breathe.  She needed some space to decide whether to go on with the relationship.  And, her dumped boyfriend took that space away.

When nothing seemed to work, Sam decided on another tack.  He started seeing other girls and flaunting it in her face.

Keri had a friend named Robin who never seemed to be able to get a date.  Sam asked Robin out and she accepted.  Then, Sam called Keri and asked her where Robin would like to go on their date.  Sam thought that Keri would be jealous when she heard he was dating her friend.

But Keri was furious.  She felt that Sam was taking advantage of Robin to get back at her.  And, she felt Robin was selling her out.  Sam was making no headway here.

When Keri started dating a new guy, Sam did everything possible to disparage the boyfriend.  He tried to compare the new guy unfavorably to himself.

Unfortunately, by this time, Sam had burned all of his bridges.  Keri had moved on and didn’t want to have anything further to do with Sam.

The relationship didn’t have to end like this.  Keri could have forgiven Sam for his lapse at the party.  But, because Sam acted like an oaf afterwards, he lost the ability to get her back.  If you are a dumped boyfriend, don’t compound matters by being a Sam.

Handling relationship problems the right way is vital. Go to The Making Up System and get all the help you need. You do not have to be a dumped boyfriend who does everything wrong, get advice from The Making Up System and you will know what to do.