Monday, December 29, 2008

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship


How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?


Here are some clues:

  • Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
  • While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
  • Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
  • Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
  • You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?


A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.


When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.


One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.


But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.


Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.


The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.


The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.


Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”


If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.


A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.


Once you know whether you are in a toxic relationship or not and you know whether you want to safe your relationship, you may want to have a look at The Magic Of Making Up, for all the help you need to get your relationship on track. Get The Magic Of Making Up.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You


Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You


If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…


1. First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after an author’s name.


There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?


Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.


2. Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to "put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period."


This is all most "save your relationship" or "get your ex back" reports say. Many of the e-books on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.


For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?


3. Finally, look at who is recommending the book.


Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?


You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.


There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.


Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?


Have a look at The Magic Of Making Up. I'm convinced you will find it is the best you can get. What is better The Magic Of Making Up is an e-book and instantly downloadable!


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Friday, December 12, 2008

Get My Ex Back - What Should I Do to Get My Ex Back


Get My Ex Back - What Should I Do to Get My Ex Back

When you break up with someone you love, you go through lots of painful emotions. You feel sad, depressed and hurt, and you miss them. "What should I do to get my ex back?" becomes a question you constantly ask yourself.

There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer the question, what should I do to get my ex back? But common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship.

If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then follow this simple advice. You’ll give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.

1. Don’t play games.

This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to this during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care, or you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long.

Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will always be sullied a little because of the lie.

Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires.

Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late.

2. Don’t be mean.

This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over.

Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss.

"What should I do to get my ex back?" Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

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Saturday, December 6, 2008

Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - How to Get My Boyfriend Back


Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - How to Get My Boyfriend Back


If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back? Or How to get my boyfriend back.” Probably at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.


1. First of all it is essential to be nice.


That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.


The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.


2. If you have to pretend, think again.


If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.


3. If it is possible to be nice, you have a chance.


If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.


4. Remember the past, prevent it from happening again.


You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together. Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.


Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.


You have to really think about it before you try

it, do not invite disaster.


a) Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?


This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.


b) Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?


No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?


c) Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?


It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.


But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.


These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.


T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.


So, if you are wondering: "Can I get my ex boyfriend back?" or, "How to get my boyfriend back" I recommend an e-book The Magic Of Making Up.


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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

5 Ways to Get Back at Your Ex - Or Get Your Ex Back!?


5 Ways to Get Back at Your Ex - Or Get Your Ex Back!?


Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take?


One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.


1 - Be strong.


No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.


2 - Minimize communication.


Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.


3 - Be flexible.


Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.


4 - Get the heck out!


This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.


5 - Simply be yourself.


There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.



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