by Margaret Hardisty
The last time I saw Gerry he was selling drugs. I accidentally ran into him downtown. He always had been conversant and he told me everything, "You aren't going to turn me in, are you?" he asked. Actually, I wasn't sure of his real name and I didn't know where he lived, so that would have been difficult. Vance had become acquainted with him several years before, helped him turn his life around, at least temporarily, and brought him to our house. With Vance's help, he had given up taking or selling drugs.
His parents had been extremely poor role models and his upbringing was shoddy at best. His mother, a nurse, had stolen drugs and started her kids on them. So his background had included stints in juvenile hall and later, prison. Before we met him, he'd had a baby by one woman he dearly loved, but because he was taking drugs and tended to be homicidal, she left him. He couldn't save the relationship.
After Vance came into his life and Gerry was turning his life around, he married the next girlfriend but the same thing happened. She left him out of fear, despite his desires to save the marriage.
It is foolish to take mind altering drugs whether prescribed or illegal. When life becomes puzzling, hard and frustrating, many, unable to endure until they discover an answer, take the easy way out and alter reality with chemicals. Despite the fact that, for a short period of time while they are indulging they can forget their troubles, feel good and "handle it," (as they all say), when they are clean, they discover that their problems are still there. In fact, they're worse. Drugs add another dark and...shall we say it?... evil dimension to their lives, their marriages, their perception of things.
Taking drugs, whether recreational or prescribed, is just plain foolish. When life becomes puzzling, hard and frustrating, many, unable to endure until they discover an answer, take the easy way out and alter reality with chemicals. Despite the fact that, for a short period of time while they are indulging they can forget their troubles, feel good and "handle it," (as they all say), when they are clean, they discover that their problems are still there. Remember the commercial about this is your brain on drugs Just imagine how bad your problems become on drugs. Drugs add another dark and...shall we say it?... evil dimension to their lives, their marriages, their perception of things.
It is very difficult to heal a marriage if drugs are involved. In fact, it's very difficult to deal at all with a person who indulges - because they go off the drugs, get into rehab, come out clean, get a new life - and then, like a dog going back to its own vomit, they do drugs again. When we deal with a troubled marriage or life that is complicated even further that way, we say to ourselves, "Tell me again why we are using our energy and time trying to help these people who won't help themselves."
There are some successes, though. Serenita came to a number of Bible studies in our home. She had been unable to save her marriage because of a drug habit and lost custody of her children. When we met her, she had been clean for two years. She had a job in her chosen field, and her right to visit weekly with her three daughters had been restored. She's active in her church, and has a lot of people praying for her. She will continue to improve and get her life on the right track. If you are addicted, you can shed the demon and have victory, too.
Your spouse, your children, your extended family, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you once you get rid of this devilish habit once and for all. It has been done by many. You will need help, but the ultimate decision to conquer is yours. Discover your weaknesses and what caused them. Then fight them as if you were a soldier going into battle and your life depended upon your using the weapons that are at your disposal against the enemy. Pray. Ask God for help. Then continue to do your part. Victory will be yours.
We have more on addictions as well as saving your marriage in our material and books at Love Relationship Headquarters. Come visit us and see how your life can be changed.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
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