by Judith J. Conway
There is not any relationship without conflict. Since God hasn't made any two folk alike, there's certain to be a difference of viewpoint. This leads to a conflict, which at times takes the shape of a nasty argument. Sometimes, small conflict can even finish up damaging the relationship. So, it would only be wise if you learn to avoid conflict.
Be more open to listening. Learning to listen is among the most important ways by which you can avoid discussions based on petty reasons. Most people tend to get into fights on account of an inherent incapability to listen to what the other individual is saying. So make sure you listen to one another correctly before replying. If both parties are talking concurrently, there would be nobody to hear what's essentially being voiced.
Many a times during a conflict, you'll be just about convinced to give in to a scream fest or toss something at your partner's head. Don't let your temper get the better of you and instead count to ten or think about things that you like to calm yourself down. For instance, you can try picturing yourself at your favorite holiday spot to relax yourself. When you have calmed down you will be ready to express your thoughts in a more civilized manner.
Empathize. This is the best thing that you can do to avoid cat fights. Try putting yourself in your partner's shoes. This may help you understand his/her perspective better. Once you understand what your partner is trying to say, the scope of any kind of conflict reduces considerably. Even if you are unable to understand what your partner's point of view is, make sure that you respect the same.
Fights in any relationship are normal and pretty obvious as well.Always make sure that the conflicts are fair in nature. If you're of the opinion a particular conflict can be determined only by an argument or a fight, you are free to go ahead with the conflict. All that you need to do is to be sure that the fights are fair. Do not ever pick up the past issues and intermix them with the present conflicts and difference of opinions. The more you bring your past issues in the present, more is the chance of disharmony and conflicts in the relationship.
Fighting doesn't imply you can go all trashy and evil with the other person. In the middle of the most ugly of fights you shouldn't lose respect for the person at the other end. No matter how seething and irritated you are it's not justified to call your other half names. Also you must steer clear of making any harsh and inappropriate comment about your partner. Additionally try to tone down your volume even if you are fighting. You may have a conflict without the need to raise your volume too. Women are recommended to avoid sobbing or crying as this can make things tricky for men to handle and the debate too, comes to an abrupt halt.
So while you may never be ready to avoid conflicts indefinitely, the way you deal with them will decide on whether the relationship survives or not. You may both resolve it peacefully and gain your partner's respect or you will scream and shout and lose the relationship altogether. The final choice lies with you.
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